INTERVIEW: KAELEN SARAKINIS: DON'T LIMIT YOURSELF
You currently play guitar in Catalyst Crime which is Cinematic Metal. You have solo music such as "Scape Goat" which is you on keys (it also includes a guitar solo) and "Even Horizon" which is an Electronic instrumental track. All of your projects are different from one another. What motivates you to try so many different genres?
I'm a musical cameleon. That's why locally, I have been called a prog snob; being classically trained and a metalhead. A couple days ago, I was at a Hip Hop /R n' B kind of show. I love music! There are very few things I don't like. Even if it’s something I like less, I can pick elements I like. That's kind of how I fall into a progressive realm most of the time. I just don't limit myself. I write music that I would listen to. Symphonic Metal was my baby growing up. Catalyst Crime satisfies my teenager self and all of the goals I wanted to do in life but I'm more than just that. I love to do EVERYTHING.
Is there a genre you haven't experimented with that you would like to try?
There are a lot. I dabble into everything on my own time. When I was studying at Berkley, we kind of had to work in different genres. Sometimes, you would be writing a Country song because the video you were given for your assignment is a bar scene and you see a guitarist, a bassist, a drummer, and a singer in the background. There is no audio for them. They are just mimicking. You have to create music based on what you see in the video. It was giving a Country vibe. Do I write Country? Not really. Did I have to? Yes. There are elements of Country I absolutely love. Other elements from it are not for me. I don't limit myself regardless. I just listen to things and make my choice.
There is a track I started working on, I rap a little bit but I wasn't planning to. Do I want to continue that way? I don't know. We'll see. Whether it comes to light for people, who knows? By all means, I'm not going to limit myself.
I saw that your bio on Facebook says: "Working on your first solo project". Would your album also be kind of all over the place in terms of music styles?
I have been working really hard on my first album. It's been not very lenient. When working alone, my ADHD comes out harder. When I have a band, it keeps me on track. When it's just me, the various genres definitely get me everywhere. I have a lot of concepts. I have a lot that's very close to done. I just have to figure out which ones I'm committing to for this project. Some stuff flourished more than I expected. Other stuff fizzled more than I expected too. Certain concepts started to shape more. Working alone is a bit more difficult I find. With a group, it's a lot of fun. Sometimes, personalities can be an issue but I actually think it's a lot more fun. At some point, decisions have to be made; whether it's by you or someone else. When it's just you, the perfectionist kind of comes out. My ADHD comes out and I get distracted by other ideas. We'll see what lands but there are lots of styles that happened. They were always touched with a bit of a heavier grit though. Everything is focused on me doing vocals which is why it is taking so much longer. I have a lot of instrumentals ready to go. It's just finalizing all of the vocals and deciding which ones will stay for the EP.
When you work alone, do you have a go-to person for feedback?
Depending what I'm working on, I have a couple of people I can message. I have one friend in particular, despite what genre it is, I will ask for his opinion. He's a good friend who's very honest. He won't blow smoke up my ass. He will tell me if something doesn't sound good. He's also a very good vocalist. He's not in a band anymore. He just has his casual karaoke to let out the performer in him. He used to do amazing Metalcore stuff. He screams. He sings. He emulates other singers very well. It feels like he's a voice actor for singers. I think that's why I go to him. If I am trying to get a certain kind of sound, like a certain singer. He always tells me what I need to hear which is: "Take the inspiration but connect to your own voice. You don't need to be somebody else." He will tell me if something is pitchy. I know I'll get the best feedback to keep on track to being authentic.
I saw you also released a cover of "Lost" by Linkin Park. What do Chester and Linkin Park mean to you?
I grew up listening to Linkin Park since their first album. Since elementary school, I have been a huge fan. For me, connecting with Chester has been on a different level. I have been suicidal since I was 8 years old. "Hybrid Theory" and "Meteora" are two staple albums that connect with my soul deeply. They will be on repeat forever. There is a lot of his life that mirrored mine. A lot of people go through a lot of rough things but I don't know a lot of people who connect to chronic suicidal issues that Chester dealt with while continuously bringing that good energy to the world. It's exhausting but we can't stop doing it. It's what keeps us going. For me, seeing that in someone else made me feel less alone. Music saved my life so many times.
Doing a Linkin Park cover was hard because I wanted to do it justice. My buddy Mike was telling me: "As much as you want to emulate and do Chester justice, be your own voice." I'm still finding my voice in my transition. It's not what I would like it to be but I still took that courageous step to put it out. I nail earlier Linkin Park a thousand times better. I chose that song purposely to push myself out of my comfort zone. It's not one of the songs I connected to when I was younger. In some ways, I was trying to reconnect with Chester after he passed. After 27, I started connecting to his later stuff.
I know you are quite active on Instagram, Facebook, Tik Tok. After talking about how some fans can be quite negative, can you think of a positive interaction which you will probably remember for the rest of your life?
I had a band when I was 15 (until 18). We played a whole bunch of shows locally in Montreal. It was super fun at the time. I didn't think too much of it. 5 years after the band broke up, I got a message from somebody: "Hey, I still have this album and it helped me through the passing of my mom." I was shocked. This ended 5 years ago. It was my high school band. We did a lot of fun stuff with that band but I didn't think I made a real impact. They even named a song in particular. That stuck with me forever. I don't know if anything is going to top that. That was a random Facebook message I got, out of the blue 5 years after we disbanded. I had been in 3 or 4 bands since then. That was the most impactful thing I have seen. There are a few people I have encountered over the years who stuck around through my various bands; a handful of really nice people. I actually found that album in my storage two months ago.
Can you tell me about your very first musical endeavor ever? What kind of music did you play?
I think my first band was in 4th grade. My first serious band was the one I was in from 15 to 18. I was in a Killswitch Engage cover band when I was in 7th grade with 11th grade guys who didn't want to play a ton of shows. That's when I knew I needed to find a serious band. I was 15 and these guys were from 18 to 23. I found them online at (montrealmusicscene.com). They were looking for a vocalist. I met up with them at the old Sound Module studio that used to be across the Bell Centre. It was THE Montreal jam space at the time. My dad dropped me off. I'm this 15-year old girl: "I'm going to audition for this band." These 3 guys' first language was Spanish, their second language was French. The bassist was the most awkward white guy. Me, a teenager. They're auditioning the 2 of us at the same time. It was such a random experience but it worked. The amount of times I was playing shows that I wasn't legally allowed to play. It was great. I have been in bar context since I was really young. These guys were protecting me. They always asked me: "Go talk to the people for us." I did the talking and got to meet so many people and break out of my shell too. That band was so random but also very pivotal for me. They always had my back.
I remember playing a shitty little Metal fest. There was barely anyone there for anyone. My friend Mike's band (well before it was his band, with the original singer) were the coolest people ever. They played Metalcore. We were playing Lacuna Coil style music. They full on had their own little circle pit for us, crowdsurfing within themselves. It was the funniest thing ever. It was the most supportive, heartwarming situation ever. I still know these guys to this day. I still have a few of them on my socials. It shaped me to be kind and to also clean up the scene and fix the industry the best that I can.
You mentioned coming out of your shell during those years. What would you say was the biggest lesson from those days?
Don't be afraid to talk to people. Be kind to literally everyone. At the end of the day, the front person of a band is just as important as the security guard at the back. We don't really realize who's around. Those lessons back in the days still ring true today. On my latest tour with Catalyst Crime, I was doing loading at one of the venues and someone who didn't know I was in 1 of the bands until after the set talked to me. "I thought you were just a crew." "No, we crew ourselves." You never know who you are talking to. Either way, it doesn't matter. Give your kindness and respect to everyone. Have interest. I have made so many great friends, met so many cool people because I said: "Fuck it, I'll talk to people". Even this past weekend at the show I was at, I met management. I met the backup singers. Some of these people follow each other afterwards and get to see what they're doing elsewhere. You find out how accomplished they are. Sometimes, there is so much more behind a talented person that you would never know.
*We proceed to have a very nice conversation about going to shows alone and how awesome and important it can be. Okay, back to the interview.
Being trans yourself, you have not only been vocal about trans rights through your music ("Scapegoat”) and social media but also about the ongoing genocide in Palestine, how important is it to use your platform to spread awareness about those social issues? On your linktree (see link below), there is a link where we can educate ourselves, donate.
It feels like I have been screaming into the void my entire life and people are recently starting to catch up. My eyes have been very open since I was really young. At my core, this is how I have always been. I see injustice. "That's not logical. It doesn't make sense. Why?" No one was able to answer. I was frustrated as a teenager. I had to figure out what I wanted to do about it. I always noticed that music connects people. Music is so fundamental in life. The intersectionality of it all was always there for me. I was forced to learn the lingo because people were dismissive. "I'll educate myself more so I can teach people better." For many years, I was feeling very voiceless. I was doing it a lot for others but lost my own voice in the process.
It was easier to be a voice for others than it is to be a voice for yourself. I think now I am getting my voice back. I'm singing. I get in my head a lot when it comes to vocals. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone.
People have been silent for too long. I have been awake for longer than most people. It's frustrating. I'm trying to be patient. Sometimes, you question how genuine people are about it. I always want to give people the benefit of the doubt. It becomes emotionally taxing. It's not even a question. It's a must. If you aren't doing it as an artist, you are just telling me who you are. Not every song needs to be all politically heavy. You have a platform and you're doing absolutely nothing. It makes me question a lot of people.
In high school, I was a computer techy. I was the only girl. I was coming back from lunch and saw some of the computer guys getting bullied. I used to do karate as a kid. I came out of nowhere. I decked 1 guy in the face, 2 other guys were just confused. They realized it was a girl half their size. The other guy dipped.
Even as an adult, pre-transition, on the metro, there was this guy sitting with his yoga mat on his iPod and a couple of guys popped up. They tried grabbing his stuff. No one got up and tried to do anything. Me at the time, a 19-year old girl, I intervened. The guys ran off and ditched his stuff. Even as a woman, I was doing more than most people. Now, I get my ass kicked when I try. "Oh, he's a shrimp." It doesn't go as easily. I try to assess the situation, be smart about it, and gather people with me. I have learned to work with my words and not my fists. When I was a kid, I was like: Let's go, super hero! Dragon Ball Z! Let's go justice!"
You have played shows in different parts of the world such as Europe (Germany England) along with different places in Canada (Montreal, Québec, Edmonton). What was your favourite show in Canada? What was your favourite international show? (whether it was because of the crowd, the venue, the experience before the show)
As much as it was a sad one, I would have to say Dollhouse Riot's second to last show; the one for Pride in Edmonton. That was a lot of fun! It was my first time doing an outdoor festival. Someone said there were 30 000-40 000 people for Pride that year. Visually, we had 5000-10 000 people in front of us. What I was seeing was out of this world for me at the time. That was a great way to send that band off. Someone threw a card with their phone number at me. My girlfriend at the time was there. I kept it as a souvenir. It was a stripper. That was the first and only time I got to play Pride. I would love to do another Pride; a queer project of my own. I would have to find a bunch of people. That was my Canadian highlight. I have done some fun stuff in Canada in general. Before the Medley closed down and got demolished, I played there with my first band. Growing up, the Medley was THE venue for all of the bands I loved. The fact that it closed down is heartbreaking. I got to play it before it closed.
If you could be part of a supergroup with people you don't know personally, who would be in your band? What role would you have? What style of music would you play?
I'm literally currently trying to find a band. I'm auditioning for different styles. I would take Tosin Abasi from Animal as Leaders and Scott Carstairs from Fallujah on guitars. This is very difficult. The idea would be very Progressive Metal kind of Hardcore but more on the progressive heavy side; in the realm of Animals as Leaders and Fallujah but with orchestral elements. I would take Mystic on keyboard. She's an amazing keyboardist. I have seen her do a lot of stuff for other bands. I would want to do vocals but dual vocals. I would work with Kyle Schaefer from Fallujah. We would do harmonies. We would scream together. We would compliment each other voice wise. I have voice lessons with him. I have questions regarding stamina. For drums, I would pick Simon McKay from The Agonist. He's a great drummer and a great guy. There are too many good bassists. I don't know who to pick.
On a musical level, what are some of the goals you have already achieved and are proud of?
My schooling was probably my first big goal. I graduated doing classical singing before I transitioned. Then, I did orchestral composition for film, tv, video games. Being able to play Pride was a lot of fun. For me, it's the fact that I have been able to tour across Canada, pockets of the US, Europe, UK. I do want a local band. I don't have one right now. I'm working towards winning a Juno. I do want to do more continents. I want to keep working with people I admire. I got guestlisted (because of Mark Jensen) for the Epica show at Place Bell. That's something my childhood self was so excited about.
This conversation has to be one of the most meaningful, important, and inspiring I have had the chance to have this year or ever, really. It's one thing to be an extremely skilled musician. It's a whole other thing to be a kind and respectful human being. Guess what? It is possible to be both, and Kaelen is the living proof. Please remember not to limit yourself, not only when it comes to the music you listen to, but in life in general. Do not fear talking to people. I know it's easier said than done, but we never know what opportunity may present itself because of a single interaction. When you witness injustice, speak up. Thank you to anybody who took the time to read this latest interview. And once again, thank you, Kaelen!
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