INTERVIEW: ASHLEY BELLAM: PASSION OVER FEAR
Whether it’s on a personal level or a professional level, whether it has nothing or everything to do with any form of art, I believe we have all experienced that feeling at some point in our lives. You know the feeling when you are convinced you want to do something or even need to do it, but fear prevents you from jumping headfirst. As time goes on, you realize that not taking a chance and putting your foot forward leads to regrets. Guess what? Ashley Bellam did not let fear stop her from turning her dream into a reality. It might have taken her a bit more than she wanted or planned, but this talented, hardworking Montreal-based photographer has already accomplished so much since 2024; from constantly sharing amazing pictures with the world to getting a photo pass to shoot a Twenty One Pilots concert. During this conversation, we talked about what sparked her interest in concert photography, how lovely the Montreal concert photography community is, what song she listens to before going to shoot a gig, and much more.
I read that you knew you wanted to be a concert photographer since 2017, but you started pursuing it in 2024. What made you finally get started and was there anything holding you back?
So context for how I got into wanting to do this: Do you know that I like Twenty One Pilots? It wasn't my first concert, but it was the first one that I begged to go to. That concert was the best day of my life. And I literally looked for every single video and picture I could find. I need to relive this until I die. I went on Facebook, found some photos a photographer took at the show and that led to fan photos from the pit area and barricade. Those photos were exactly how I felt at that moment.The energy, the emotion, everything was there. I just spent hours looking at those photos. I immediately felt the need to do that for someone one day. I needed to be the person that gives that emotion back to a family. I decided this is what I want to do with my life. I literally had no plan B. I had nothing. “I'm going to school in photography”, which I did. I studied it in high school. We had a little photo class. It wasn't really anything crazy.
But then I saw Panic! At The Disco’s photographer. I don't know how they were allowed to do this, but their photographer said anyone is allowed to bring their camera if they want and can take pictures from their seats. I have no idea how they were able to do that. Because it was at big venues like Place Bell or Scotiabank in Toronto. But I brought my camera and I had zero knowledge of anything really. My photo class was so basic in high school that I had no idea what I was doing. I did not know I had the worst camera. I didn't care. I just have to do it. I took photos. They weren't great. But honestly, for how little I knew, they kind of came out well. And then I studied photography in college. In my third year there, we had to do a portfolio. And I planned to do mine with concerts. But it was around Covid time. My first semester of my third year was literally during Covid. And then, my second one was right when things were starting to get back to normal. But it was just too much of a risk to put in months of work just for it to randomly get cut off again. I wouldn't know if I'd have to restart everything. So I thought, “Okay, I'm just gonna focus on something else. And then life got too busy to actually be doing anything like this. But it was always in the back of my mind. Every time I went to a concert, I thought “Damn, that's such a good photo”.
I just needed to start doing this because it's the one thing in my life that I've known that I've always wanted to do. I just had to. And I think it was The Last Dinner Party’s concert two years ago, where I was looking at all of the visuals and the set. I realized, “I need to start right now. I need to start doing this”. I can't miss every concert that I'm going to and then regret it later. And it's so scary because I'm anxious all the time. Talking with new people and such. I told myself, “This is not right. You just have to email random people, talk to them, work with people you don't know. Either I'm scared forever or I just don't do the thing that I know I need to do.” So after The Last Dinner Party, I decided to buy a point and shoot and start bringing it to concerts. Build my portfolio. I was hoping to get it in time before, I don't remember what show it was, but I didn't. And I was sad. So that was kind of it. I just literally had nothing left to lose. It was either I do this or I don't. I wasn't gonna spend my whole life knowing this is the thing I want to do and not do it because I'm scared. I saw people my age doing it all the time. I had friends that started out in it. I thought, “Well, if they can do it, there's no reason why I can't do it. And then I just started going to shows, bringing my point and shoot, building a portfolio. And then, I found a publication that isn't active anymore, sadly. I reached out to them and asked “Are you guys looking for photographers? Can I join?” And then I did. That's how everything started.
What would you say to someone who thinks it's too late to get started?
Photography is not a thing that you're just born knowing how to do. My first show I had no idea what I was doing. I literally just showed up with a camera and I think I was on auto everything. I was a girl with a camera and a dream. It's something that you learn and it's scary. Especially because you don't have much time. It's not like a studio session where you can take all the time you want and pose every single thing. It's just instinct, I guess. Only recently I started actually watching videos of the show before I went. I just showed up and had no idea what's gonna happen. Let's just do whatever. I kind of get into my head thinking, “I need this shot”. And if I miss it, then I'm kind of a bit bummed out of myself the whole shoot. And I don't really like to get into that thing. So half the time I go in blind and it works out. There's so many tutorials. There's so many like people out there just starting out of nowhere. And it doesn't really matter how old you are. Not that I'm old, but I definitely started later than a lot of people do. And there's just never a time where it's too late to start. I know people older than I am who started later than I did, and they're doing great. It really does not matter. It's just something that you learn eventually and it's great.
Is there a specific aspect that has been more challenging to you and how do you overcome it?
I do think the lighting is the worst part sometimes. My first show was at L’esco. And it was a tiny stage. The opener was amazing. But her set was literally a background of fairy lights. I was just there thinking this is the worst first show of my life. Now it’s not as bad as it was because Lightroom’s denoise is actually so good. Two years ago, it was not that good. It was still great, but not where it is now. Sometimes you get the craziest color of light. What do I even do here? You show up and the set is green and dark red. What am I supposed to do? I started to lean into it because green is not a natural light. You're not worried about editing naturally in that situation. And then you're less concerned about the whole color correcting aspect of it. There's really nothing you can do. That's usually the worst part, but it's not as bad. Unless you're in a really bad situation sometimes. I think it was Jade LeMac at Le Studio TD. I love her but I felt like I was in a cave. It was dark red lighting the whole time. That one was rough. I think we had a photo pit at least. Not that I mind not having a photo pit. I've done concerts without a pass where I've been in the pit and it's fine. For me it's a different mentality of you didn't get the pass. You're in the pit, you do whatever you can. That's your spot and you just stay there. When you have the pass and you're sending it to a publication and you tell them, “I know these aren't the best work that I can do”. It's a weird mindset with the battle between I know this could be a lot better, but I'm doing the best I can in this situation. You just kind of have to get that mindset more than be stuck. And I can do better. You just have to tell yourself you know your work, you know that you can do better, but you're also doing the best with what you have. That kind of should be the show of your talent more than always having the best situation. You're not always gonna have perfect lighting and a photo pit that's giant. You just have to know how to work with your environment and do the best you can.
I discovered your work through your awesome pictures that you took of In Pursuit of Heroes. They're one of my favorite local bands. I have interviewed them. How did the photos come about? Was it planned? Did you know the band personally?
I didn't know them, but it was actually the first paid thing I ever did in concert. Their singer Rosie messaged me “Hey, love your work. We have a show on this day. Would you be willing to photograph?” And I thought, “Oh my God. Absolutely!”. I hadn't been doing photography for that long, but this was the first paid thing ever. And things were becoming real now. I got there early and the band asked me “So what lighting do you want? What will make us look good?”. It was planned but I didn't know too much about what was gonna happen. I was just kind of going in blind and I was so surprised. They're really amazing, super nice people. I photographed bbno$ recently. I was walking down the little aisle at Place Bell to go to the photo pit. Suddenly I'm hearing “Ash!”. I turn around and Rosie's there! And then literally two weeks later, when I photographed RAYE, I didn't see Rosie at the time, but afterwards she told me, “I knew you were there. I was sure I saw you”. I haven't done a show with them since but I hope that we get to work together again. It was so fun. They were so nice and it was a very pleasant surprise. I was so happy.
You said it was your first paid gig. Were you a bit more nervous because they asked you?
I was so nervous. It's one thing doing it for yourself or doing it for free. But somebody is trusting me with their show and with their photos. It was imposter syndrome because I haven't been doing this for that long. And I know a lot of my friends’ first paid thing was a lot later than mine was. And I thought to myself, “Do I even deserve this?” At the time, I had the worst camera in the world. It was not good. It did its job. It did what it needed to do. But compared to a small venue with darkness, this is not the camera I should be using right now. So I was just really nervous. But then I got home and I was editing. I realized, “You know what? These are great. These are awesome”. And it helps when the band is awesome and they're so energetic. The stage presence is so good that you can't not get good photos of this. I would be more scared if it was a band who just has a guitar and stands in the same spot without moving the whole time. At one point when you're photographing the whole show and these photos are all the same. But they moved around. They're so energetic that even shooting I knew these are gonna be fine. I know these have to be good because the band is so good.
How important is it for you to work with smaller bands or local bands?
It definitely is. That's how you make your connections. It's cool to photograph big artists but they all have their team already that they've known for forever. And it's a great way to have credit in your portfolio. But it's really the smaller bands where you start working with them, you make friends, you make connections. And then that's where things actually happen. It's always with the smaller bands. I was there from the beginning. I knew them when they were small.
If you could choose anyone to take pictures of you, who would it be and why?
Twenty One Pilots’ photographer. Because I had my photo taken by him during the Breach tour. It was night one and I was at barricade. When the photos were posted on Facebook, they put that photo in. I thought, “No way. And I'm texting my friends, “That's us. Oh my god, that's so cool”. That photo was exactly how that moment felt. The coolest picture of me ever. It was the exact emotion of the show. The energy, everything. I think if it could be anyone, it would be him, because I know he would do it. Well, because he already did. It was such a cool photo that I just know it will be awesome.
Ashley (in the middle) with friends at the Breach Tour (Twenty One Pilots), taken by TOP’s photographer
If you could pick a single photo out of all the photos you've taken so far to show your work to someone who's never seen what you do, which photo would you pick and why?
The one of Josh from Twenty One Pilots. It is so hard to get a good drummer photo. And I did. I love that photo. I feel it goes along with him speaking about how he has really bad anxiety and now he's getting through it. He's singing on stage and everything. All the anxiety that he had. I'm sure it's still there. But it's proof that you just have to do what you're wanting to do. And that kind of goes with me being so scared to start concert photography and start making connections. I just have to because this is the thing that I know I want to do. It's a great photo. I love that photo. It's one of my favorites I've ever taken. And it’s a reminder he got through that and I'm getting through that. I would say that one.
Would you ever put out a photo book at some point?
I have thought about it. One of my good friends has been asking me all the time. She always tells me, “You need to make a book out of this”. And every year I tell her I will. But it's just every year I feel I'm getting better at my work. I hope that every year I'm gonna make this book. But then what if the next show I do is the best photo I've ever taken? It would be cool to make a book every year. I don't know. It's just. It's scary looking back at your work and thinking, “Oh my god. That would have been great. Or that's amazing. I really have thought about it, though. It would be awesome just to have everything in one little. Maybe in a few years. I need a collection of the best photos I’ve ever taken. I don't think I've been doing it long enough to have enough of those.
Do you have a folder of some of your favourites?
I don't. I have my website where I put most of the ones that I like. Thank god I'm at the point now where I've done enough shows where I can actually put the good photos instead of just anything. I had to fill up the portfolio. So I feel the ones on there are mostly my best work.
Would you say the style of music being performed has any effect on how you're going to shoot a show? Do you think the music itself has any effect on how you shoot? Or is it the visual aspects and the lighting?
Between different music styles, Sabrina Carpenter and Twenty One Pilots for example, they still have a very energetic performance that it wouldn't really affect it so much. It's still energy shots. You can tell there's movement in the photo. There's energy in the photo. Compared to someone who's just standing there with a guitar. They both have their moments of that, but it's not the main show. They have so much going on, but I feel in a way where it would matter is more in the editing of the photo after. They're both energetic, but they're both different styles and different target audiences For Sabrina, you would have bright, kind of colorful, everything. And then Twenty One Pilots, it's more grungy and kind of darker. I do black and white a lot with them because it's moody.So I feel that's more of the way that it would matter. Not so much in their performance. But there's definitely a difference between how I would shoot them. Because I feel when it's someone just there with their guitar. Again, not that there's a problem with that, but I feel there is more of a challenge to make the photo interesting.
Who are some of your personal favourite local creatives whether they are fellow photographers, musicians, visual artists? What do you appreciate about them?
My absolute favourite local creative is one of my good friends Sarah (@sarah._.evangelista ). She was one of the first friends I made when starting concert photography, and was so welcoming and lovely to get to know and ask advice to. Her work reminds me so much of the point I made before, of looking for ways to make a show where it’s not the most interesting photo wise, into something creative and amazing. She’s truly the most innovative and hardworking photographer i know. Another great friend of mine whose work I love is Andres! (@andres.amaya89) He as well was one of the first friends I made, and he’s such a chill guy to talk to. We have such a fun memory together of spam texting each other back and forth while checking out emails, hoping to be approved for a Twenty One Pilots pass in Toronto. He knew how much that show meant to me, and all I had to do was text him “Andres.” when I finally got the pass for him to know what was going on. I was in tears on the train and we were celebrating, only to get a message that he got the pass too! Twenty One Pilots is a band that means so much to us, so it was so awesome to share such an important moment to me with a really great friend. Speaking of that show, he was an absolute lifesaver with a killer red preset he has! That show was much more difficult to shoot than I expected, as their first songs are lit dark red, so he really came through with helping me out there! Such a great guy to know!
The montreal photographer community is really just insane though, in the best of ways. everyone is so talented, and has their “thing” that sets their work apart from others. I was so lucky to feel immediately welcomed into the little circle we have here, and I always get happy to see a new face in the pit!
If you could only listen to one song everytime you are about to go shoot a concert, which song would it be and why?
To no one’s surprise, of course it’s a Twenty One Pilots song! Lately, I’ve had “Tally” on repeat, and it immediately became one of my favourites of theirs when it was released. I always find myself listening to it before a shoot. There’s no real “deep” meaning behind it. It's just energetic and lively, and instantly gets me in the mood for an action-packed show! That’s really the only reason why. It’s just an incredible song!
Your favourite interviewer/blogger (who also tends to get scared of jumping headfirst into certain situations or endeavors sometimes),
Ariane
LINKS TO FURTHER DISCOVER AND SUPPORT ASHLEY
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